lifesmarvels: (gibbs)
1. My mom found out that her ex-boyfriend has a new girl and got jealous. She suddenly realised that she still loves him and wants to be with him, no matter that he's an useless douche who does nothing the whole day and clearly doesn't deserve such a woman like her. So she started communicating with him anew ignoring mine and my sister's complaints and advices to not. And apparently he was all on board for them getting back together. When mom broke it up with him previously he didn't really understand why and for a very long time tried to win her back. It seems that all it took was to find himself some new girlfriend. The girlfriend in question, Lena, found my mom's number and decided that no bitch will be stealing her honey-po. So she started to call and SMS mom with fairly threatening messages. I saw them and frankly, apart from the fact that I know she's in her thirties, I could swear she goes to secondary school. Bad spelling, stupid sayings and the whole content was on a fourteen year old level. And it seems that the boyfriend is on Lena's side (she even told him that my mom called her a bitch, which is true, but only after all the shitty messages). They were supposed to meet tomorrow for coffee (mom and bf) but he doesn't pick up his phone and they probably won't. Mother got all depressed and started saying how everyone abandons her, how she is stupid and worthless and nobody needs her and how it would be better if she just died. My sister tried to tell her that we would be miss her, not to mention how we would be devastated if something happened to her, because she's our only parent and we love her very much, but the only response was that we would get a lot of money from Insurance and moved on. Low blow, mom, low blow. We both kind of stopped talking to her for awhile, until she get her head out of her ass and apologized for even thinking like that. I understand that she has a lot of self esteem problems, or rather she doesn't really have self esteem at all, but doubting the fact that we love her and don't want her to die was a little too much. Hope tomorrow will bring some happy changes.

2. Dad's in the country. Hooray. He was supposed to call since yesterday and pick a date with us but clearly he has more important things than his daughters. Like always. I don't really know if I even want to meet with him. I mean, I fixed the e-mail communication with him only just recently and I don't want to screw it up on some real life meeting. I have more hope to get an e-mail than to see him in person usually. But if I won't go than he'll get offended either way. No winning situation.

3. I got an email from Dr. Marta that says that few places in University of Derby got free and that I have a chance of getting one. And don't get me wrong, this was my first choice and if I got this chance in January I would be ecstatic, but... Well,but. I got a place in Middlesex and I kind of got used to the idea that I will be studying in London. And now I'm not sure. I don't even know what kind of conditions will I get in Derby if I'll want to go there. The Middlesex situation is clear already, I know what they expect of me, what kind of loggings are nearby and all that stuff. I'm not even sure if I got enough points on my Matura exams to get to MS, not to mention Derby. But, goddamnit, Derby has a perfect joint-honours degree that I've dreamt of. And what that it slightly more far away than London, I'm still moving to the whole new country, why does few kilometres makes a difference. Should I leave my perfect dream of studies just because I'm scared? I have a weird feeling that the answer will be yes. Well, nobody will help me decide (literally, my family knows jack squat about it and both of schools are the same for them), I'll just have to think about it for awhile. The problem is, I don't have time to think about it.

4. Ending on a slightly happier note, I got into NCIS fandom recently. Well, maybe not a fandom yet. I'm watching the series from the first episode currently (even though I'm familiar with it, it runs in TV, but sometimes I don't catch it in time). I read some fics also and commented (Wow, yeah, I'm writing comments. Shocking, isn't it?) and even got myself an Archive of our Own account so I could bookmark the ones I liked the most. It's mostly slash, because that's what I always read, but I care more about original idea and the style of writing than about pairing or rating (although sometimes it's nice to read a stupid PWP) . I'm mostly bored right now, because I finished high school on the start of May and still didn't find a job (I'm looking, but it's hard) so lots of free time on my hands. Maybe that will push me to write something finally. It would be nice warm-up before university. You know, since I've chosen to study Creative Writing.

Hope you have a nice dreams


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October 2015



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